T.O.R.N. No. 2- The "T" Edition

Haven't updated in a while. No excuse. Straight up laziness. Figured I'd write another TORN. Writing in short sentences. Whoops! Sorry, couldn't help it. I recently re-read the Watchmen graphic novel and really dug Rorschach's style of journal entries. It was no-bullshit, straight up facts style of writing. Anyway, today's TORN edition features things that start with the letter T. Without further ado, here we go:

1. Twilight: Can people just get the fuck over this dumb bullshit craze already? For fucking real, I can't get away from it. A lot of comparisons have been made between this franchise and the Harry Potter one, and while these associations are legitimate, I’d have to say that Twilight takes the “If one of you piece of shit motherfuckers brings this up again, I will shoot you in the face” Award. Yes, the HP series was ridiculous in terms of how many people obsessed over mediocre CHILDREN’S books, and unfortunately the HP wave is still not done with 2 or 3 movies still waiting to be released/made. Yes, it did warm my heart when people drove around in their cars spoiling the ending of the last book to loser fans who waited all day in line for the midnight release of the last book in the series. BUT, I guess the one redeeming quality of the series is that ultimately it got a lot of kids to read. Granted, it was trite and unimaginative. Hell, even Harold Bloom, the great literary critic felt compelled to knock Rowling off her pedestal. Still it got kids to read. Twilight, however, doesn’t really have much of a redeemable quality. The same arguments employed to justify and legitimize the HP series aren’t really in play here. First of all, the books are meant for young adults. Well, young tweens and teenage girls. I seriously doubt many teenage boys are reading this filth. Unfortunately, the readership of this quasi-literary trash is much greater than that. Not a day goes by without one of the secretaries at work raving about the books. The most common expression I hear is “I never read and you wouldn’t catch me dead with a book, but Twilight has changed my life. I’m like a big reader now. I can’t put it down”. Really? Is that admission you really want to make public? What is wrong with you fucking people?? Shit, even the actors who will star in your movie think it’s bullshit! Ugh, alright, I’m done with this. I’m going to get an ulcer. Moving on.

2. The Big Three Bailout: Big Business Bailouts need to stop. I find it appalling that the major automotive company—companies that have been on the forefront of mismanagement and lack of innovation—are asking for a hand out. It’s absurd that a company that bleeds out money is asking for public funds. I don’t understand how anyone could possibly justify this. Their refusal to make any concessions in terms of pay and perks—such as flying their private jets to a meeting-- as they make their demands is a slap to the face to anyone who has ever paid taxes. There are other alternatives than to just throw money at a problem and hope it goes away. There was a very good opinion piece by Mitt Romney in the NY Times op-ed section yesterday where he suggested that we allow these companies to go bankrupt. Filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy is probably the only solution to this problem. It would force these companies to restructure, something these behemoths sorely need.

3. Tony Romo: I have a man crush on Tony Romo. It’s not because he’s the quarterback for my favorite team. Hell, if that were the case, my stomach wouldn’t turn every time someone mentioned the Quincy Carter era in Dallas, or as I like to call it the Dark Ages. No, my heterosexual and platonic infatuation with Tony Romo goes beyond his performance on the gridiron. I think it’s the manner in which he carries himself on and off the field. On the field, he exemplifies the ‘for the love of the game’ mentality. His demeanor is the on-field representation of what being a fan is. When they score, he jumps for joy, just as we jump for joy. Even in tragedy his actions are a manifestation of the fans’. There is no better example of this than the 2006 NFC Wild Card game between the Cowboys and the Seahawks (Romo’s first season). The game ended what could’ve been a game winning field goal being botched, and Romo picking up the ball only to be stopped short of the end zone. After this, a crushed Romo just sat on the field holding his helmet. That image will remain with me for a long time. It’s definitely up there along with the Steve Bartman ruining the Cubs’ chance to go to the World Series in 90+ years. What makes Tony Romo so damn likeable is he appears to be such a grounded guy. I truly believe that he considers himself to be a very lucky person, and this realization is something that keeps him humble. Beyond this, he also seems like a respectable human being. In this football season alone, Romo has been in the headlines for acts of kindness towards others. The first is helping to change a couple’s tire at 2:30 am after a game. That’s class. There was a similar feel good story in the papers today. I mean how can you not like the guy? I have friends who root for the Cowboys now because they love Tony Romo. That’s amazing.

4. The Game: The Yale-Harvard Game is this Saturday. I wish I could be there. It’s so much fun. Drinking heavily the night before, sleeping for a handful of hours, waking up and shotgunning a beer to stave off the morning hangover, followed by more indulging in alcohol and food. Some of my best college memories happened at the Yale-Harvard game. Plus, it's always amusing making fun of Harvard kids and their lame ass ways. This year ends my 6 year streak of being there. Thankfully, it’s always one of the few Ivy League games that’s aired on television. GO ELIS!

Alright, I think this is it for now. I'm going to go to lunch after not working for 3 1/2 hours.