The Brilliance of Jon Stewart

I've been slipping lately. To make up for it ,here's a Jon Stewart standup bit from 96.

Old Time Baseball, Conan Style

Conan O'Brien hosted his late night show for the last time a little over a week ago. His comedic stylings were such an integral part of my teen years. In his honor, and because baseball is in the air (Spring training is around the corner) and in my dvd player (Ken Burns' Baseball), here's a video from Conan's show. It's stuff like this that made him so funny



For those of you who live abroad, try this link.

Absurdity of the Week, The Shabby State of the Republican Party Edition

Question: How desperate are the Republicans?

Answer: So desperate they're rallying behind a 14 year old kid.

You are Great!

If you have 16 minutes to spare, you should watch this video. It'll make you smile and feel nice warm and fuzzy. Hell, it made me do that! Have a great weekend everyone.

Mid-Week Cleanup

1. Never really cared much for horoscopes, but this week's issue of The Onion will make a believer out of me:

Gemini: Everyone laughed when you said mankind wouldn't last another 100 years, but that's because you did it in a funny Mexican accent.

2. Terrell Owens has been released from the Dallas Cowboys after three seasons. I've got to say, I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Granted, TO does have a track record of being a major distraction. He did it in Philly and in San Fransisco, but I think he truly was devoted to the organization. Despite his age, his game-changing ability is not easily replaced. Without him, all we have is an overvalued andoverhyped wide receiver in Roy Williams. Speaking of Roy Williams, the other one ,the safety, was finally cut from the team. Good riddance. He's past his prime and he's only 28. My team's panicking. I'm panicking. The pressure is now on TonyRomo. If he can't win, he'll no longer have anyone blame but himself.

3. Does anyone actually enjoy the comedic stylings of Larry the Cable Guy? I only ask because apparently Comedy Central seems to think so. They've been really pushing this "Roast of Larry the Cable Guy" pretty heavily. What kind of demographic does he appeal to? Maybe David Cross knows. Below is a segment from an open letter he wrote to Larry the Cable Guy:

I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple.

His words not mine. While I may not find his comedy particularly funny, I somewhat understand how people with a certain disposition might perceive him to be amusing. After all, topical humor is the reason why Tyler Perry has a career (yay nouveau blaxploitation!), and if it weren't for Dane Cook, what would douchebags laugh at?

Kanye West, Baseball, etc.

Kanye West is hillarious. His words:

“I am God's vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”

In other news, I have taken it up on myself to watch the Ken Burns documentary on Baseball. It's 9 discs, with each disc being 2 hours long. So far, it's amazing.

A Running Diary of Jimmy Fallon's New Show

Conan O'Brien has been a fixture of my weekday nights since high school. The man is goofy, and just plain funny. I can't think of any other late night show host who has made me squeal and snort from laughing to hard. Starting in June he's going to move to Jay Leno's old spot, and as a result he has moved to LA. I hope he doesn't change, though he probably will because he has to appeal to a wider audience. Anyway, this isn't about Conan. I figured I'd keep a running diary of Jimmy Fallon at the helm of the Late Night. Without Further ado...

11:37pm
The show opens with Jimmy Fallon getting ready in his dressing room. His predecessor, Conan, is there picking up the last of his things. Funny little awkward interaction. A little passing of the torch.This looks promising.

11:38pm
The opening sequence is definitely more urban. This is complimented with having The Roots as his backing band. Could be my own bias, but they're no Max Weinberg. Max Weinberg was funny in that sketchy pervert sort of way.

11:39pm
Jimmy Fallon just walked out looking a little uptight. He does not have the same loose energy than conan. I wonder if he'll laugh at his own jokes. First joke kind of bombed, followed by a series of mediocre ones.

11:45
First segue segment-- before the interviews. This was probably the thing Conan did the best with sketches like "in the year 2000", "the masturbating bear", etc. It's really is unfortunate that he has to fill for Conan. He ends ths first segment with a plea of 'come on right back, please!'. A little dseperate. I'd give this a C for effort.

11:51
Lick it for 10? This kind of strikes me as a leno-like segment. What makes Conan more appealing than Leno is conan's ability to be more risque than his predecessor. Unfortunately Jimmy isn't taking advantage of this later timespot. Lick it for 10 is basically people licking lame objects for 10 bucks. The first guy licked a lawn mower, the girl licked a printer, and the third guy is licking a goldfish bowl. This was entirely pointless and a waste of five minutes. Definitely an F

Sidenote: This got me thinking. My friend Ned asked me if Jimmy Fallon was funnier/better than Carson Daly, and that's a blatant yes. Who isn't? Also, how much does it suck to be him. You follow Conan for 3 plus years, and when Conan gets bumped up to the first slot, instead of him being promoted, they bring someone else. I wonder how that conversation went. " No, it's not you ,it's....well, yeah, actually it's you. We figured we'll just keep you where you are. What's that? No one knows your on tv? That's not true! Stoners and a drunkards watch your show! And sure, they may be too fucked up to know you're on, but hey it's better than no audience right?"

11:59
Firsrt Guest is Robert DeNiro. One of the things that Conan excelled in was in having a great dynamic with his guests. Deniro looks like he doesn't want to be there. Oh man, this is so awkward. Why do people think they can always impersonate DeNiro. Very few people do a good job. Paul Rudd does a wonderful Deniro in 'Knocked Up'. Anyway, interview over. D.

12:17
Justin Timberlake is on. This has devolved into an inside joke of a sketch they did on SNL together. 'What was I going to say, now I'm lost,' said jimmy. truest thing you've said tonight, buddy. You ARE lost.B-

12:25
The camera pans into a wide shot. Again, we see DeNiro thinking to himself 'wtf am I doing here'.

12:28
Van Morisson is the musical guest. Nothing really much to say about the musical guests. they're all the same.

12:35
Well, show's over. Nothing worth writing home about. Overall, it'd give it a D+. At least he's trying.

The Economy, Explained

Over the last three weeks I have been somewhat of a recluse. This is an unfortunate occurrence that is beyond my control. My new schedule keeps me at work during the ideal time of hanging out with friends. As a result, I have come to depend on This American Life as a means to connect with humanity. It's such a lovely program, I can't recommend it enough.

The reason I bring This American Life again is because over the last year they have had a handful of segments that explain what's going on in terms of the economy that are easy to understand. This week's episode focused on banks and why their collapse would be devastating for our economic system. Their explanation was concise and easy to understand. What did I deduce from all of this? Well, quite frankly we're fucked.

Please check out the episode here. It will help give you a better understanding of what's going on.

Yet Again, Alec Baldwin Proves He's a Comedic Genius

Absurd Link of the Week, The People Making Bad Choices Edition

Have fallen behind in the 40 posts in 40 days challenege I clearly need to double up.

In other news, what do you do when your significant other physically abuses you for the whole world to see? Well, if you're Rihanna you clearly get back together with him. According to People Magazine, they have gotten back together after 3 weeks of being separated. Way to set an example to millions of girls. If your boyfriend beats you, it's probably something you did. Thank you for perpetuating the subjugation of women and justifying domestic abuse . Here's how I imagine the conversation they had:

Chris Brown: Hey babe, happy birthday.
Rihanna: who is this?
CB: It's me, Chris Brown, just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday
Rihanna: oh, uh....thanks.
CB: And I also wanted to apologize for that....you know, whole beating you up deal. I'm sorry, I truly am, but sometimes you just make me so mad, and you're so pretty that I don't want to lose you. You know how it is in the rap world. I need to build up my cred, and I can't have my bitch disrespecting me in public. I had to make an example out of you. It hurts me more than it hurts you. So what do you say, you forgive me?
Rihanna: Oh Chris, your'e such a romantic.

And, end scene. Yup, our world's going down the toilet.