Opening Day!

Holy crap! It's opening day!  Cubs v. Astros. Will this be the year?

In other news, Michael Jordan was inducted into the basketball hall of fame. 

T.O.R.N. No. 2- The "T" Edition

Haven't updated in a while. No excuse. Straight up laziness. Figured I'd write another TORN. Writing in short sentences. Whoops! Sorry, couldn't help it. I recently re-read the Watchmen graphic novel and really dug Rorschach's style of journal entries. It was no-bullshit, straight up facts style of writing. Anyway, today's TORN edition features things that start with the letter T. Without further ado, here we go:

1. Twilight: Can people just get the fuck over this dumb bullshit craze already? For fucking real, I can't get away from it. A lot of comparisons have been made between this franchise and the Harry Potter one, and while these associations are legitimate, I’d have to say that Twilight takes the “If one of you piece of shit motherfuckers brings this up again, I will shoot you in the face” Award. Yes, the HP series was ridiculous in terms of how many people obsessed over mediocre CHILDREN’S books, and unfortunately the HP wave is still not done with 2 or 3 movies still waiting to be released/made. Yes, it did warm my heart when people drove around in their cars spoiling the ending of the last book to loser fans who waited all day in line for the midnight release of the last book in the series. BUT, I guess the one redeeming quality of the series is that ultimately it got a lot of kids to read. Granted, it was trite and unimaginative. Hell, even Harold Bloom, the great literary critic felt compelled to knock Rowling off her pedestal. Still it got kids to read. Twilight, however, doesn’t really have much of a redeemable quality. The same arguments employed to justify and legitimize the HP series aren’t really in play here. First of all, the books are meant for young adults. Well, young tweens and teenage girls. I seriously doubt many teenage boys are reading this filth. Unfortunately, the readership of this quasi-literary trash is much greater than that. Not a day goes by without one of the secretaries at work raving about the books. The most common expression I hear is “I never read and you wouldn’t catch me dead with a book, but Twilight has changed my life. I’m like a big reader now. I can’t put it down”. Really? Is that admission you really want to make public? What is wrong with you fucking people?? Shit, even the actors who will star in your movie think it’s bullshit! Ugh, alright, I’m done with this. I’m going to get an ulcer. Moving on.

2. The Big Three Bailout: Big Business Bailouts need to stop. I find it appalling that the major automotive company—companies that have been on the forefront of mismanagement and lack of innovation—are asking for a hand out. It’s absurd that a company that bleeds out money is asking for public funds. I don’t understand how anyone could possibly justify this. Their refusal to make any concessions in terms of pay and perks—such as flying their private jets to a meeting-- as they make their demands is a slap to the face to anyone who has ever paid taxes. There are other alternatives than to just throw money at a problem and hope it goes away. There was a very good opinion piece by Mitt Romney in the NY Times op-ed section yesterday where he suggested that we allow these companies to go bankrupt. Filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy is probably the only solution to this problem. It would force these companies to restructure, something these behemoths sorely need.

3. Tony Romo: I have a man crush on Tony Romo. It’s not because he’s the quarterback for my favorite team. Hell, if that were the case, my stomach wouldn’t turn every time someone mentioned the Quincy Carter era in Dallas, or as I like to call it the Dark Ages. No, my heterosexual and platonic infatuation with Tony Romo goes beyond his performance on the gridiron. I think it’s the manner in which he carries himself on and off the field. On the field, he exemplifies the ‘for the love of the game’ mentality. His demeanor is the on-field representation of what being a fan is. When they score, he jumps for joy, just as we jump for joy. Even in tragedy his actions are a manifestation of the fans’. There is no better example of this than the 2006 NFC Wild Card game between the Cowboys and the Seahawks (Romo’s first season). The game ended what could’ve been a game winning field goal being botched, and Romo picking up the ball only to be stopped short of the end zone. After this, a crushed Romo just sat on the field holding his helmet. That image will remain with me for a long time. It’s definitely up there along with the Steve Bartman ruining the Cubs’ chance to go to the World Series in 90+ years. What makes Tony Romo so damn likeable is he appears to be such a grounded guy. I truly believe that he considers himself to be a very lucky person, and this realization is something that keeps him humble. Beyond this, he also seems like a respectable human being. In this football season alone, Romo has been in the headlines for acts of kindness towards others. The first is helping to change a couple’s tire at 2:30 am after a game. That’s class. There was a similar feel good story in the papers today. I mean how can you not like the guy? I have friends who root for the Cowboys now because they love Tony Romo. That’s amazing.

4. The Game: The Yale-Harvard Game is this Saturday. I wish I could be there. It’s so much fun. Drinking heavily the night before, sleeping for a handful of hours, waking up and shotgunning a beer to stave off the morning hangover, followed by more indulging in alcohol and food. Some of my best college memories happened at the Yale-Harvard game. Plus, it's always amusing making fun of Harvard kids and their lame ass ways. This year ends my 6 year streak of being there. Thankfully, it’s always one of the few Ivy League games that’s aired on television. GO ELIS!

Alright, I think this is it for now. I'm going to go to lunch after not working for 3 1/2 hours.

My feud with Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN Sports Writer and Contributor

I am a Cubs fan, unfortunately. As a result, I have grown up in a one sided relationship in which the other is abusive, dissapointing, and inconsiderate of my feelings. I have grown accustomed to pain. This year, it was even worse. Needless to say, I am still recovering from the hangover needed to forget about the Cubs. Anyway, in my drunken haze I decided it would be a good idea to email Gene Wojciechowski, a senior national sports columnist for ESPN.com and ESPN The Magazine. Below is the text of my original email:

Subject: fuck you

may you burn in hell. you root and represent for everything that i detest about sports. You bald headed motherfucker. I hope you burn in hell

I sent out this email on Saturday night after reading a very unfriendly article he had written about the Cubbies. He had a valid point, but being in the state that I was, there was no way I would listen to logic. Needless to say, I decided to hit the 'Send' button.

Well, turns out that wasn't the end of it. At some point during Sunday afternoon, as I was nursing my hangover and watching the Cowboys game, I get an email in my inbox. It's from Gene. It's not an automated response. It's his reply, posted below:

Fidel,

Kiss your mother with that mouth?
Anyway, it’s great to be recognized by your peers.
Have a great day.

I don't think I've felt like this much of an asshole in a while. The worst part is that I probably wouldn't have felt like a dick wad if he had not responded, or if it was an automated email response. No. He called me out on my bullshit, without stooping down to my level. Damn. I actually felt bad enough I needed to apologize. So I did. Unfortunately I'm too proud to fully admit I'm wrong. So I sent him a Someecard. I wonder if he will reply...

Cubbies

I'm trying not to get too excited for this, but the Cubs are once again in the playoffs. On a related note, tomorrow is my company's first softball game, and I'm donning number 38 in honor of BIG Z (Carlos Zambrano). Zambrano, who not only is my favorite baseball player, also threw the first no hitter in Cubbie history since Milt Pappas in 1972 and is also one of the main reason why we have a shot of doing what hasn't been done in 100 years. I, along the whole city of Chicago, am holding my breath for the next month or so.

Dear Chicago...

In a couple of days I will be going on vacation to Chicago. To say that I am excited is an understatement. It’ll be my first real vacation as an ‘adult’. I haven’t been there since we moved away, with the one exception being Thanksgiving break of 2004, and that time was spent cooped up in my grandmother’s condo watching movies. This time around I plan on really milking my time there dry, and have made plans to soak it all in. With that said, here are a couple of things I love about Chicago:

The Blues, and the Blues Aesthetic
The City of Chicago is rich in cultural history and I plan to immerse myself in it. During my second semester of college I found myself taking an American Studies course on the Blues, and its cultural and historical significance. Needless to say, it was one of the most rewarding classes I’ve ever taken and to this day I find myself revisiting my books. Perhaps nothing else grabbed my attention as much as the Southern Black diaspora to the northern cities. The paintings of Jacob Lawrence are engrained in my mind and have shaped the manner in which I perceive the city. They are a brilliant visual representation of that mass migrations of Southern Negroes to the industrialized cities of the north. Lawrence’s paintings, to me, becomes the unifying force between the distinct Delta blues sound and the more familiar style of blues that was popularized by the likes of Muddy Waters, BB King, and John Lee Hooker. I should Chicago wasn’t the only destination, I think it’s safe to say that no city benefited more from it than Chicago. Many consider it the homes of the blues, after all. If you’re not familiar with Lawrence’s work, here’s a good resource .

http://www.whitney.org/jacoblawrence/

Mike Royko
In my opinion there has been no better American journalist/editorial writer than Mike Royko (ok, maybe H.L. Mencken is up there as well). Royko was a Chicago native that deeply loved his city and this was reflected in his writing (as can be seen by his columns written about the Cubbies and Mayor Daley, just to name a few). He wrote for all three Chicago major papers (including the now defunct Chicago Daily News) and won a Pulitzer for his commentary. His style was that of the common man, of the guy who has an ongoing tab at the tavern across the street, and his readers loved him for it. Below, there’s a link with a handful of some of his writing. Coincidentally, it has two of my all-time favorite Royko articles (titled “Picasso and the Cultural Rebirth of Chicago” and “Jackie’s Debut a Unique Day”). He wrote and thought the way people should write and think
http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/730719.html

The Cubbies
I’m a diehard football fan, and I love the Dallas Cowboys, but I’m not as obsessed with them as I am with the Chicago Cubs. Cubbie baseball evokes pastoral images of America. It’s very surprising that the Cubs are able to do this, to make people think of open fields and good ol’ times, especially since Chicago is very much an urban and modern city. A trip to the friendly confines of Wrigley Field is definitely in the works and is quite possibly one of the highlight of my trips. I’m hoping that Big Z—Carlos Zambrano—is the starting pitcher when I’m there, but that won’t be the case.