B-B-B-Baaack!

Okay, so I haven't posted here since before the Metalocalypse, and truthfully, I've been working on so many independent projects that I haven't had much time to update, so for that I apologize. If there's still any readers left, then, thank you for not leaving. Seriously.

Part of my overextended hiatus can be attributed to the fact that I never really established much of a cohesive theme. It was just a space where I wrote and ranted about whatever struck my fancy. I'm going to continue to do that. The theme is that there is no theme to this bloggity blog. Just a bunch of random shit, now with more rants!

Since my last post, I have also been working on several writing exercises with a good friend of college where we write short 300 word segments about a specific theme each week. Since only she and I are reading them, I figured I'd post the best one of the week here.

Anyway, to summarize. I've been gone for too long, but I should be writing here more often.

I don't wanna grow up

I'm a worrier by nature. What can I say? I can't help it. If I'm having fun, I worry that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and vice versa. My most recent source of concern has been how old I've begun to feel. I know, I know. You're probably thinking its absurd to be under 25 and question whether I'm past my prime. Well, any other day I would have agreed with you, but today is unlike any other day. What makes today different is  that I ran across a blog titled 'wanna feel old'.

Personal staples that make me feel old:

1. The Matrix came out over 10 years ago 

2.  Gmail is 5 years old

3.The last time the Dallas Cowboys won a Super Bowl was 13 years ago.

4. Starcraft first came out in 1998 when I was 12.

5. My parents first bought a dvd player in the summer of 1997, the year of its availability in the US, for $300 dollars. Today, you can get one for as little as 20 dollars.

Good times.

Mid-Week Cleanup

1. Never really cared much for horoscopes, but this week's issue of The Onion will make a believer out of me:

Gemini: Everyone laughed when you said mankind wouldn't last another 100 years, but that's because you did it in a funny Mexican accent.

2. Terrell Owens has been released from the Dallas Cowboys after three seasons. I've got to say, I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Granted, TO does have a track record of being a major distraction. He did it in Philly and in San Fransisco, but I think he truly was devoted to the organization. Despite his age, his game-changing ability is not easily replaced. Without him, all we have is an overvalued andoverhyped wide receiver in Roy Williams. Speaking of Roy Williams, the other one ,the safety, was finally cut from the team. Good riddance. He's past his prime and he's only 28. My team's panicking. I'm panicking. The pressure is now on TonyRomo. If he can't win, he'll no longer have anyone blame but himself.

3. Does anyone actually enjoy the comedic stylings of Larry the Cable Guy? I only ask because apparently Comedy Central seems to think so. They've been really pushing this "Roast of Larry the Cable Guy" pretty heavily. What kind of demographic does he appeal to? Maybe David Cross knows. Below is a segment from an open letter he wrote to Larry the Cable Guy:

I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple.

His words not mine. While I may not find his comedy particularly funny, I somewhat understand how people with a certain disposition might perceive him to be amusing. After all, topical humor is the reason why Tyler Perry has a career (yay nouveau blaxploitation!), and if it weren't for Dane Cook, what would douchebags laugh at?

Absurd Link of the Week, The People Making Bad Choices Edition

Have fallen behind in the 40 posts in 40 days challenege I clearly need to double up.

In other news, what do you do when your significant other physically abuses you for the whole world to see? Well, if you're Rihanna you clearly get back together with him. According to People Magazine, they have gotten back together after 3 weeks of being separated. Way to set an example to millions of girls. If your boyfriend beats you, it's probably something you did. Thank you for perpetuating the subjugation of women and justifying domestic abuse . Here's how I imagine the conversation they had:

Chris Brown: Hey babe, happy birthday.
Rihanna: who is this?
CB: It's me, Chris Brown, just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday
Rihanna: oh, uh....thanks.
CB: And I also wanted to apologize for that....you know, whole beating you up deal. I'm sorry, I truly am, but sometimes you just make me so mad, and you're so pretty that I don't want to lose you. You know how it is in the rap world. I need to build up my cred, and I can't have my bitch disrespecting me in public. I had to make an example out of you. It hurts me more than it hurts you. So what do you say, you forgive me?
Rihanna: Oh Chris, your'e such a romantic.

And, end scene. Yup, our world's going down the toilet.

New Home

Every other week, I will be posting on www.aroundthecouch.com, a collaborative blog started by one of my good college friends. This does not mean that I will stop writing here, though because the rate of blogging is less frequent than twice a week here, it'll mean that I'll probably write even less. I'm going to make a concerted effort to write more, though. New content will most assuredly be posted here. After all, www.aroundthecouch.com has a rule about keeping the language clean, and I most certainly need an outlet to swear my pretty little head off. Cunt, cock, shit, balls. Penis Holster. See, there. I feel better already

Thoughts, Observations, Ruminations, and News (or TORN No. 1)

Morning folks. First off, the end of daylight savings times is a wonderful thing. Not only do we get back an hour of sleep, but for me personally it feels like I got up earlier and have been getting more things done this morning than I have in the last couple of weekends. For that reason, I felt it was pertinent for me to update this blog. As always, I will try to not talk about me personally because, honestly, I think the difference between a blog and a journal is just that. Journals are self-indulgent masturbatory writing sessions, while blogging is hoping someone else intellectually masturbates you by your incisive comments. Now, moving on!

1) I think the most pertinent thing on the agenda right now is the upcoming election. I have this uneasy feeling that Obama will be robbed of the election and people will do nothing about it. So, first thing's first. GO VOTE! Despite the fact that this has been a record breaking year in terms of new voters registered and early voting, young people (from the ages of 18-35) have disproportionately been underperforming in comparison to other demographics. This is a big fucking deal! Historically, of course, young people always have a poor showing when it comes to voting. But this shouldn't be the case. I think this election is important because it will prove to be a generational shift. My friend Greg and I have spent so much time talking about the election and how important it will be in defining America's future. At one point we were discussing writing an op-ed together, but our busy schedules didn't permit us to do so and so that idea fizzled out. Some of the most interesting point was the role this election will play in determining how the world will perceive us as a country. This is important because 1) we live in a global society. Nationalism each day means less and less, and 2) if this trend continues, we will no longer be the superpower. I think two things can be said about the political climate of this country from the last 10 years or so ,and those two things are:

a) The Bush Administration is best summed up by a Simpsons' episode entitled "Trash of the Titans" It's quite brilliant. Yes, I do realize that employing pop cultural references is symptomatic of our generation, but alas, we use the tools we can to make sense of a nonsensical world. In the episode, Homer decides to run for Sanitary Commissioner of Springfield because of a personal vendetta. Homer insults the garbage men, which results in his trash pick up service being discontinued. The matter can be easily resolved with a simple apology, but instead Homer decides to take over a position which he's clearly not qualified for. Sound familiar, anyone? Now, in a rational scenario, Homer would've lost hands down, but then again Springfield, much like our country, is anything but rational. Anything can happen. Needless to say Homer wins the election because of the brilliance and simplicity of his campaign platform: "Can't Someone Else Do It?". In the end, Homer screws up royally and when they try to replace the new regime with the previous administration-- an efficient and functional one-- Ray Patterson, the dethroned Sanitary Commissioner rejects his old job saying that he was content watching Springfield "wallowing in the mess that [they've] made." This is exactly a perfect summation of what the last ten years have been, only it's not as funny because....well, because this is our reality.

b) The importance of this upcoming Tuesday cannot be overstated. At the risk of sounding like an alarmist, this really is a generation-defining election. It falls under a curious time in history where one generation is on it’s way out whereas the other is up on the stage, front and center. It’s the baby boomers versus the Millenials. I say versus because, yes, unfortunately we are at odds with one another. Ours is the generation of racial tolerance and equality (though they’re the ones who fought for it, we are the ones that are living it). I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, because I’m not. The opportunities that I've been given in my lifetime were a direct result of the fights of the past generation. However, we need to take into consideration that the cultural and political landscape has changed dramatically in that time span and quite frankly the baby boomers need to fucking go. Fuck it. Go. If we as a society are going to fuck up this country even more, then shit, at least let us do it. You guys already fucked our shit up so much. Go retire to Florida. Go golfing. I don't care. Just get the fuck out of our way. We're called the Slacker generation ,but shit, I mean how can we not feel disillusioned if you've been in power for so long. Which brings me to Item No. 2.

2) In the last week I've read two interesting blogs about generational differences (you guys recognize a pattern here?) and felt compelled to talk about them. The first is Don't Mistake Ambition for Entitlement. Every week I seem to have a conversation (usually with a coworker) in which I have to defend my generation, and quite frankly after a while, it gets old. We are not slackers, dammit! Ok, we are, but that doesn't mean that we don't want to better ourselves. We refuse to achieve our goals in the same fashion as you guys. How's that working out for you, by the way? How's your 401k right now? Was it worth it, to hold on to ideals meant for a society that no longer really exists? Granted, not everyone is ambitious, but I think it's ridiculous to write an entire generation off simply because we refuse to follow in your footsteps. I'm not saying we're not going to fuck shit up, but at least give us the opportunity to do so. With that said,

3) The other link is titled The Shallowest Generation. The main argument is that alot of social/environmental/economic woes can be attributed to the Boomers. Because really, who else is to blame? In the last 40 years what has been accomplished? Granted, one of their biggest accomplishments was attaining a greater sense of racial equality, but in that time span the socioeconomic gap has grown so much it looks like the Grand Canyon. Economic inequality is the new issue that needs to be addressed. We cannot afford to leave this issue go unattended.

4) The Longhorns lost. Maybe I'm an asshole, but it made me happy. The highlight of the evening was hearing from several people how the Texas Tech fans were classless for storming the field. Isn't that what jubilant sports fans do after a immense victory over a big rival? Also, how dare these people call other fans classless when one of their cheers is 'Make them eat shit'. For real.

Alright, I think this is it right now. Plus, football is on.